Summertime White Wine Round-Up!

Here's some cheap wine ideas for those hot summer months when you are already bored of swimming (PROTIP: include wine WITH swimming, then sing "A Whole New World" from Disney's Aladdin). Crane Lake Down Under Chardonnay Price : about $6 This is a super fruity chardonnay that is inexpensive and tastes like it has a learning disability (nothing against people with learning disabilities, but this wine is in need of extra tutoring, whatever that means.) I bought this wine because it was cheap and I needed wine. My friend told me it smelled like wet hairy coconut, which I guess is an actual aromatic descriptor, but holy fuck I don't want to hear that when I am about to consume wine. To me it was just too darn fruity, but if you are having a party and need some buffer bottles to put out (I like that term, "buffer bottles") then by all means rock this business. The cute little Koala on the label lets you know that this is serious stuff, and the pee-yellow color lets you know that you might be drinking pee. Australian pee. Charles Smith Wines Kung-Fu Girl Riesling  Price : $12 Charles Smith is a talented winemaker from Washington state and he looks like the lead singer of the Melvins.  ( He is not, as I originally thought, the talented but soft Small Forward with knee issues that the Knicks had in the mid 90's  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRFKhpMKX0E ) Kung Fu Girl Riesling is a very tasty (but sweet) riesling with strong lime flavor, and a cool label. Having a cool label is important when it comes to impressing people with wine, because you can tell people what flavors they're tasting in wine (almost like a hypnotic suggestion), but a cool label that everyone can see really puts it over the top. This is one of my favorites, even though I routinely tell people that I have a strong dislike for sweet riesling. This is a tasty, cheap, cool wine that will Kung Fu punch you with flavor. In the face. Shaolin Style. Thank you for Wine Time.