Magic Moonshine Time

MOONSHINE REVIEW

Kings County Moonshine

About $20?

"Okay guys, let's put some pseudo illegal alcoholic beverage that's set for a resurgence, put it in a "health tonic" like glass hip flask, under-advertise it and sell the shit out of it in hipster bars!"

I think I spoke those words a few years ago, and much like how I consistently forget about the existence of New Hampshire, I forgot about my would-be plans for a moonshine company. Moonshine is back in the national spotlight after TLC or something did a show about Moonshine distillers, at least I think that happened :::furiously searches internet for "moonshine television show"::: ah yes, it's called "Moonshiners" and it's on the Discovery channel. Dang. It's about dentally challenged backwoods white people making illegal moonshine.

                                            Likes: Moonshine, Dale Earnhardt, soft foods

                                            Dislikes: Obama, shoes, teeth

So Moonshine is a good time. It has been called "Tennessee White Whiskey" because it's really kind of like a non-barrel aged whiskey. This particular moonshine has a very distinctive turpentine-like smell to it, but it has a nice peppery flavor akin to some tequilas. It packs a punch and it's a very social alcoholic drink. I had a sip before and I feel nice, warm all over and shit. It's a fun drink to share with friends because a little goes a long way. I'm thinking you could put it in orange juice if you wanted to, but other than that it would probably be something to sip between beers.

The lack of advertising on the bottle actually is the advertising. I saw the bottle and I was all like "Whoa" and I had to have it. I promptly kept it in my jacket until I drank it all. Cool story.

                                                                     "So thirsty..."

So yeah, enjoy moonshine and become hip. Or get too drunk on moonshine and fracture your hip. Whatever.

Gluten Free Beer Review #2 : Bards!

Hey I found more gluten free beer, let's review it why don't we?

Bard's Beer

Price: $12

Packaging and advertising works really well on me. The name is cool, the art on the package is cool, and their slogan is "Discuss it over a Bard's", which is awesome because it makes you think you're going to have some sort of important business to conduct while drinking. In reality, most things should be done while drinking. I finally started watching Mad Men and it makes me feel okay about casual drinking. In the same vein, listening to Juvenile makes me feel good about myself because I have a solid fundamental grasp of the English language, unlike Juvenile.

                          I would like to discuss how awesome Freddie Mercury was over a Bard's


So Bard's is a sorghum malt beer, and it's pretty good! It doesn't taste like beer, it has almost a coffee aftertaste and it's a touch sweet, but not sugary. It's really very light and easy to chug, I just had a sip of it got a bit of a cinnamon taste, weird.

 I read (from the internets) that the owners of Bard's are two righteous beer enjoying dudes who suffer from celiac's disease, which is devilish irony it seems, but not really. It makes sense that people like beer, and bread, and pizza because that shit is delicious. It's just that those foods contain gluten which makes a large (and ever-growing) part of the population sick. So, here we are today where these guys made a pretty darn good gluten free "beer". Allow me to reiterate, this stuff doesn't taste like beer, but it's very drinkable and provides the same positive effects that beer does, minus the gastrointestinal conflict. I was at a party last night (yes, I have friends) and it was nice to be able to hang with the dudes and drink "beer" whilst they chugged Yuengling.

So here we are in the bold new world of gluten free beer and it's getting better all the time. A brave new world of tasty brew that dudes with gluten issues such as myself can chug mightily. You can go totally sick-house on this beer.

                                                                             "Beer."

Enjoy!